Dreary Days

Today is overcast, dark, trying to rain and very quiet.

I love this kind of weather. The clouds sink in just enough so it's not terribly cold, just dark and weird. There's not a lot of people out and it's a perfect time to have a cup of hot chocolate with the ESMF.

These kinds of days remind me of being a teenager, mostly because I have silly thoughts of the darkness of the weather mirroring the darkness of my insides. I know, hugely cliche and laughable, which I also knew at the time I was a teen. I think the difference for me was that I found a lot of positivity in "darkness" as opposed to being negative and wallowing, I was just "dark" and weird.

Although I will say this: You may recall from this post that I have this problem which makes me think I'm funny. While still true today, it was amplified ten fold in high school. "Now I have to go boil myself" was a favorite retort when someone touched me or, "Go set yourself on fire" when someone said hello. Other than that, I was pretty quiet. While I see that those phrases are very mean, and likely hurtful, I saw it as being clever. I think I really thought that if I just pretended that my high school years were an awesome eighties teen movie (you know, Heathers, Reality Bites, Pump Up the Volume), everyone else would follow suit.

Well. It explains why I didn't have a lot of friends. And maybe why I like dreary days.