In Which I Attempt to Lighten the Mood

It has come to my attention as of late that most every post I've made has been a bit of a downer. I had a specific post planned for today but it too, is a on the cloudy side of things. So I'll save that for another day, and today, we're going to go over everything that was awesome about my week.

First and foremost. This:

His name for now is Hortance.

I made a new friend at work. Literally. Knitting stuffed animals is my favorite distraction. First of all, obviously, they're adorable. Secondly, there's something a bit gruesome in the construction (sewing on eyes, and sometimes limbs) that I love. And yes, that is my bicycle in the background, and yes, I do plan on taking Hortance for a ride in my giant basket soon.

Next:

Yeah. I spent a Sunday Meat Ballin'.

I've been making soups.

Orzo always reminds me of maggots. But I eat and love it anyway.

Remarkabley successful soups.

I don't need a wedding for Italian Wedding.

They're amazing, delicious, cheap, freezable and pretty low on the dishes count (a major factor in my cooking considerations). I think ninety percent of my meals this week came from the two batches of soup I made last weekend. Me vs. Poverty: 1-0.

(I should note here, that making meatballs always sounded like a ridiculous amount of hassle and gross-ness to me. After actually doing it, I think it's AWESOME. The eggs are actually grosser than the meat, but once I got the hang of rolling them up, I was quite impressed with myself indeed.)

And this:

This is pretty much her attitude all the time.

I am not a crazy cat lady, but I like my cat, for bein' a bitch. She talks a lot. She walks on my boobs in the mornings. She talks a LOT. She swats at my feet when I walk by her. She only purrs or lets you pet her when she wants something. But she does make the apartment look nice just by being in it, she's not a total attention whore, she makes me happy just by being there. And she takes the five to six empty death threats a day like a champ.

So there's my dose of happy. I'm going to attempt about two blog posts a week next month, only because I hear it's national Blog month (what does that even mean?) and being new to the whole blogosphere stuff, I figure I might as well just plunge right in.

Here's to a lovely month.

Unemployment Lockdown

Not having plans makes it impossible to plan.

Okay, let's face it, I'm not one for planning things. At all. Meals, purchases, meetings, projects, these are all things that often occur spontaneously in my life, which I love. I realize, that one day I will have to face facts, and probably join the hoard of grown-ups and start planning things.

Spontaneous Fall walk to Java.*

With knitting and writing.*

And Flowers.*

And Us!

That being said, I do have a planner. And I use it. Well, until I lost my job, and now there's not a huge amount to look at anymore, which brings me to this:

Having no steady job but constantly looking for one, I find myself in conversations that go something like this:

Curious Bystander: "Hey, what are you doing (Insert random date that is a month or more away)?"

Me: "I work at the yarn shop on Tuesdays and Saturdays and teach on Thursdays." (Let's face it, this is all I know at this point.) "Oh, and I'm going out of town for Thanksgiving week."

Bystander: "Cool, so you can come to (insert strange event that sounds not only unappealing, but I'd usually rather stay at home anyway)!"

Me: "Well, I'm trying to get a job right now, so I don't know if I'll be free then."

Nosy Presumptuous Bystander: "Oh. I thought you said you work at a yarn shop and teach."

Me: "Right, it's not exactly a living, that's just my life."

Dumb Ass Bystander: (Blank stare)

Me: "Okay, nice seeing you again." (And other lies).

The big frustration here is not coming from this poor, clearly abused and misled bystander (that is, bystander of my life, not that they don't have their own... honestly, I just couldn't figure out what to call this person, it's no one specific but... whatever.) but it is that I need to keep my schedule as open as possible for all of those delicious and wonderful potential employers (e.i. no one) so I can be of some actual use to one of them, should they decide I'm awesome enough to hire (note to potential employers: I am totally awesome enough. My biggest flaw in the work place is that my awesome has been known to blind some less-than-awesome... bystanders). Taking all of this into consideration, I also need to make sure I keep my schedule open enough to be able to work my two days at the yarn shop (sometimes three! Yay!), Teach a children's theater class once a week (never mind the prep work that goes into that nonsense) and have my evenings free to go to rehearsal for the show I'm in, which pays a small small small "stipend" I'd work out the hourly for you, but sadly, they got rid of the ha' Penny and all of it's other adorable divisions, so it would probably be impossible. Although, I think saying I'm getting paid an "adorable" amount is appropriate.

To break for a moment: You may be asking, "Well, hey! If they're not paying you very well, why are you doing a play?!" And I may say back to you, "If you're really asking that question with a straight face, I don't think this is the sort of leisure reading you should be enjoying. Try some Dan Brown."

In any case! Suffice it to say, my availability right now, to any hiring manager with a head on his/her shoulders looks about as appealing as hiring a drug addict. Which I'm not, so at least I have that going for me!

Anyone know some crazy hiring managers?

Hire me! I make adorable hats! (Pattern from my super-hero designer crush Alex Tinsely, find out about the pattern, here!)*

 * I am, nor in now way do I claim to be a photographer. I just like to take pictures of pretty things with my silly phone apps.

Working Seasonally

Today is the first day that actually feels like Fall. There have been hints, up until now. A whiff in the air, an overcast morning, the Solstice, things that tell you it's Fall, but today, Fall just happened. I woke up and it was drizzling outside and smelled like rain. The sun hasn't peaked out from behind the dense layer of clouds all day and the leaves are changing color. Yeah. It's about time, Fall.
 

 Finally put buttons on my first sweater for myself!

Don't get me wrong, by Halloween I will be complaining along with everyone else about the layers I must don to brave the chill, but right now, all I can think about are afternoons wasted chatting with friends in coffee shops, knitting on the couch listening to something jazzy, sipping on whiskey, trying on eight hats before I leave, only to go with the first on I tried because it matches my sweet boots/tights combination the best and having an even harder time getting out of bed in the morning because it's so warm, and smells so nice, and why can't the day just happen to me here?

Here's a hipster picture to warn you about the listlessness of this post...

The truth is, I am in a rather undefinable in-between place. I have a couple (very) part-time jobs, teaching children theater and working at the (super awesome and amazingly wonderful I-can't-believe-this-is-actually-a-job) yarn shop and I'm rehearsing for a new play. I think by all technical, grown-up, American standards though, I'm fairly unemployed. Or under-employed? I've got my fingers wrapped around some doors and am trying very hard to be let in on some seasonal work for the holiday shopping season, but I'm rather sedated by undefineabiliy right now (seriously, auto-correct, stop trying on that one). I feel like Fall is a huge transition for so many things, particularly in past years of my life; going back to school, meeting new people, patio season winding down at the restaurant... So now that it's come this year, I am left with a huge amount of anticipation and little satisfaction. Neither of these are a negative thing.

No, Seriously. List.Less. (which means no lists?!)

I refuse to question how I've been making ends magically meet when I can't seem to find the beginnings lately. I've been taking a kind of sick joy in acceptance of so many of the "I-don't-knows" that seem to drop from my mouth when I least expect them to. I'm spiraling into control of whatever this life I'm in the midst of creating for myself is. I'm taking my time to languish in a little uncertainty because who knows when it may happen again?

Oh. And I learned how to make some kick-ass soup, and take really bad pictures of it. (Oh yeah. Cookies too.)

So. Day. I'm going to happen to you.