Working Seasonally

Today is the first day that actually feels like Fall. There have been hints, up until now. A whiff in the air, an overcast morning, the Solstice, things that tell you it's Fall, but today, Fall just happened. I woke up and it was drizzling outside and smelled like rain. The sun hasn't peaked out from behind the dense layer of clouds all day and the leaves are changing color. Yeah. It's about time, Fall.
 

 Finally put buttons on my first sweater for myself!

Don't get me wrong, by Halloween I will be complaining along with everyone else about the layers I must don to brave the chill, but right now, all I can think about are afternoons wasted chatting with friends in coffee shops, knitting on the couch listening to something jazzy, sipping on whiskey, trying on eight hats before I leave, only to go with the first on I tried because it matches my sweet boots/tights combination the best and having an even harder time getting out of bed in the morning because it's so warm, and smells so nice, and why can't the day just happen to me here?

Here's a hipster picture to warn you about the listlessness of this post...

The truth is, I am in a rather undefinable in-between place. I have a couple (very) part-time jobs, teaching children theater and working at the (super awesome and amazingly wonderful I-can't-believe-this-is-actually-a-job) yarn shop and I'm rehearsing for a new play. I think by all technical, grown-up, American standards though, I'm fairly unemployed. Or under-employed? I've got my fingers wrapped around some doors and am trying very hard to be let in on some seasonal work for the holiday shopping season, but I'm rather sedated by undefineabiliy right now (seriously, auto-correct, stop trying on that one). I feel like Fall is a huge transition for so many things, particularly in past years of my life; going back to school, meeting new people, patio season winding down at the restaurant... So now that it's come this year, I am left with a huge amount of anticipation and little satisfaction. Neither of these are a negative thing.

No, Seriously. List.Less. (which means no lists?!)

I refuse to question how I've been making ends magically meet when I can't seem to find the beginnings lately. I've been taking a kind of sick joy in acceptance of so many of the "I-don't-knows" that seem to drop from my mouth when I least expect them to. I'm spiraling into control of whatever this life I'm in the midst of creating for myself is. I'm taking my time to languish in a little uncertainty because who knows when it may happen again?

Oh. And I learned how to make some kick-ass soup, and take really bad pictures of it. (Oh yeah. Cookies too.)

So. Day. I'm going to happen to you.