I feel as though this needs a bit of context. I'm not a particularly "girly" girl. Sure, I like make-up on some days (when I'm in a show I wear it as part of my job though, so it's nice to not wear it at all sometimes). I wear skirts and dresses. When I can... well, when I feel like putting forth that sort of effort. I like getting all dolled up on my own terms. For the most part though, I love wearing sweats, over-sized long sleeved shirts, messy hair and boots (yes, I am aware that some people would argue that boots and sweats are not a wise combination. Fuck those people, as they are clearly not wise). Not to mention my keen knack for using a little more than necessary profanity and fake-humping inanimate objects like a dude for others unexpected entertainment (you're welcome).
There is however, something amazing to me about making a new purchase. I love the process. I love the moment the thought pops into my head of, "I should stop by that little downtown boutique after rehearsal today. They're having a moving sale." or "I really do need new yoga pants. It's the semi annual sale... now would be a good time..." or even, "I should get all the soup recipes I plan on making this week so I can make a list (which I will inevitable forget on the counter) of everything I have to pick up at the CO-OP. And I'll just browse through they're cute little beauty section while I'm there..." (Yeah, I even get excited about grocery shopping).
I love walking into the store. Each store smells like some sort of new. Some sort of potential. Some sort of, "If I got that it would make me feel like this and people would perceive me as that." Some sort of mystery, some sort of mysterious 'new me' piece hiding on a shelf or on a hanger. Don't get me wrong. I know each store is meticulously planned out to make me want things that will make me feel good. I know about the studies that have proved that making a purchase gives one an endorphin rush. I am pretty aware of marketing tactics and traps, but that doesn't make me NOT want to buy things.
I love touching the merchandise. I'm sure that a lot of store owners are not cool with this (to be fair, this is one to which the grocery store, particularly the produce section, does not apply. Gross.). I'm a tactile person. Texture (it's the knitter in me, I know it), weight, general nominess.
Then there's that exciting moment of ringing up the goods. The little beep each item makes, or the scrawl of pencil on the receipt paper, each thing that will soon, officially be mine, which means I get to care for it and love it in it's own glory. I get to take it home and out of that store where it's just had to sit next to things that are just like it, not getting the attention and love it deserves. And I will love it, show it to people ("You like it? Thanks! I got it yesterday. I love the cut. So comfortable too!") and I will give that item the appreciation it truly deserves.
This is absolutely not to say that I'm a shopaholic, which I really do believe is a serious condition. I have never fore-gone rent or bills (drinks with friends, absolutely, but I usually claim "responsibility") for a new pair of shoes. I have used a credit card in a manner that some may deem irresponsible, but I don't have any sort of debt. And really, when it comes down to it, using a credit card irresponsibly is part of learning how to live like an adult in this country. People hate you if you don't have a credit card, I've tried it. Stores, banks, property managers, and most of all, people who have credit cards.
Also, I do purchase responsibly. I check tags to make sure it's machine washable. If it's not, I think long and hard about weather or not I'll really want to take the time to get it dry cleaned or hand wash it (if it's a tee shirt, forget it. I'm not dry cleaning a tee shirt. That's out of control silly to me). I will almost never buy anything that's not on sale. I will buy things that are unlike other things in my wardrobe so I'm not boring.
I'm simply telling you, that when I've had a hard day, there's very little that can cheer me up like walking into a store (preferably a yarn or clothing store) and making a purchase (big or small, doesn't matter). I pay that total with glee and thank the sales associate and walk out thinking, "Great purchase! I will get some great use out of this. It will change my life somehow, however menial or grand." Then I go home and set my loot down by the door. My ESMF knows better than to ask about these sorts of things because I inevitably feel guilty about most things that I do or do not do in my life (I wasn't raised Catholic, so I really have no idea where this comes from). Every now and than he'll ask, "That shirt looks awesome on you. Is that new?" and I'll say, "Oh this? I got it a while ago..." Which is true, and I grin a little and look at my new-ish shirt and think, "Yeah. It does look good on me."
Hair pictures soon. Promise. All I have now is crappy phone pictures. Soon.
Yes..... Yup. Uh-huh!
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