Reasons My Co-Worker Is Apologizing

I think most people are familiar with Chronic Apology Syndrome.

Okay. It's not a real thing but it's totally a real thing. I'm sure most people know someone who apologizes constantly. Often not because they're doing lots of things wrong, just because it's how they communicate.

I'm guilty of this. I've been working on it over the last decade. I've started calling out my friends on their consistent apologies. Being sorry is necessary. No one's perfect, we all mess things up. I feel pretty strongly that if we apologize for things that aren't actual offenses, for example: Sharing an idea that isn't favorably received immediately. This not only teaches people around us that we have so many things to apologize for (like existing, having ideas, being a human) but it also compromised the integrity of our apology. So when you really fuck up and say you're sorry, what is it worth, if it's every other word out of your mouth anyway.

I recently started my new job selling rich people overpriced coffee and cold press juices and other hipster-related life style swag. I don't know the people I work with particularly well yet, but one young woman who started around the same time that I did says she's sorry so much I'm surprised she's at accepting of  any thing she does.

I feel inclined to point out at this moment that I do not think this is an inherently female conundrum. One of my favorite (male) collaborators had a nasty habit of apologizing so much that a superior once banned him from using the word. He now says "I apologize" so frequently it's almost eye-roll worthy.

So, without further ado, I present to you:

Reasons My Co-Worker is Apologizing

She asked me to hand her a milk to re-stock the cold case (this is part of my job)

She walked past me

She asked me a what time I worked tomorrow

We sent her home because it was dead, then it got busy after she left. She apologized profusely the next day.

She was refilling the water pitcher and I walked past her.

She set up the entire patio before I had a chance to help her.

She rolled all of the silverware.

She said something quietly.

She had to get past me behind the counter (where it's very narrow) so she stood there quietly until I looked at her because I thought she had a question.

She walked into work (on time).


I don't know her well enough to really bring this up to her yet. I have a feeling if I did she would apologize profusely.