There is something amazing happening here. Something to be cherished and adored and nurtured. Something that's nearly unbelievable, something so many of us have worked so hard to build, something that is creeping in a petty pace, but still notably there.
There is, for so many reasons, for so many people, a really large amount of amazing theater being done all around me. And I have been so privileged to be invited to be a part of so much of it.
If I look back as little as two months ago, when I was knee deep in rather minuscule unemployment checks and feeling like an utter drain on society and my own emotional resources, I really can't believe that anyone would have wanted to hire me to do anything. Ever. That rather classic mid-twenties paradox of still figuring out who I am as a person and what attaining my dreams actually means and looks like will be ever-present in my mind, I'm sure, for the next few years. However, over the last month or two, I have helped create a beautiful and unique production of Shakespeare, attended several play readings of new plays (by playwrights who I not only respect immensely, as they've grown and matured in inspiring ways, but I also am lucky enough to call my friends), I have been called to audition for shows that I never, in my wildest dreams, thought I would pique enough interest to be invited to, I have been invited to direct a piece of my choosing in a time slot of my choosing and I get up early everyday, go hang out with four of my closest friends and bring Shakespeare to the next generation, who is always surprised to find that they really do enjoy it.
I believe this is what is known as establishing yourself as an artist in your community. It did take many years. It took many pep talks to myself that I really am worth a damn, I swear. It took time and dedication and a fair amount of personal sacrifice; emotionally, sure, but mostly the sacrifice was embodied through relationships with people who aren't involved in theater, which is a very strange sort of love affair.
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| Very. Very Strange. |
I can't think of any other art for off the top of my head that you absolutely cannot do alone. You can paint, dance, draw, sculpt, cook, textile, metal work, write, graphic design, or whatever medium you may use to produce art,(even film, really) all alone. Sure, you need other people for the complete experience but you can create all of those things all by yourself, given the necessary materials. You cannot make a play by yourself. Even a one man show needs a stage manager, often a director (though sometimes not), someone to design the set and lights and sound, a playwright, a producer, etc. I've heard of people doing all of those things themselves, but usually to poor results, as collaboration lends itself very well to the theater.
Now because you rely on so many people as an actor (my role of choice in theater, though I've been known to dabble...) there are some very strict scheduling restrictions that come along with choosing this as a career. Actors, as a whole, are surprisingly hard working and dedicated individuals, for the care-free, drunken, loose and funny-guys reputation with which we seem to be associated. As an actor, I'm never late, I always have my lines memorized and some choices to try in rehearsal, I'm entirely committed and dedicated to every aspect of my job, which I've only recently begun to realize a lot of people still really don't consider it a real job (luckily, I still have little care for what other people think about my career and personal choices).
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| Perks. |
The sad part about all of this, despite the many perks and soul-fulfilling wonder that being in the theater provides, is that it really is impossible to understand. The bonus side of that for me, is that I absolutely know that it is impossible to understand. When I was sixteen I was in a production of Les Miserables that really put the nail in the coffin for me. The community and bonds that I made with the people in that show happened so quickly and became so strong and was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. There was no way I could do anything else.
Once I reached college, I began training to be an actor. I started getting cast in shows and began to realize that when friends want to hang out with you, they assume that the evening is the best time. Evenings are when college production rehearsals are, so I had to decline. Every. Night. I can't say I didn't lose a fair amount of friends in that first semester of college. I did, however gain a huge amount of friends, future colleagues and a pretty amazing network, not to mention a really incredible and amazing gentleman. I am still sorry for losing touch, being unable to connect with friends and not being able to spend time with them. I will say though, that the ones that didn't hate me after falling in love with theater are still wonderful, still like me and don't get upset when I can't hang out with them for two months when I'm in a show.
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| We don't have to hang out with each other, but who else would understand this motley crew? |
Getting used to explaining to friends was hard. With family it was
really hard. When I was nineteen my mother told me we'd be going to visit my grandmother in DC for a week for her birthday. It was tech week for King Lear and I was stage managing a show that had over five hundred cues. My board ops were both at least five years younger than me and the show was four hours long. There was no way I could go. I have to say I'm still surprised (and very grateful) that my mother ever forgave me. And luckily, I did get to see my grandmother again before she passed. She was glad to see I wasn't quite so fat anymore. I do know many actors though, who are not so lucky. Many actors chose to go on stage for a performance when they heard their mother was sick in the hospital and never got to see her again. May I be so lucky to never have to make that decision.
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| A calm between the storms. |
I can't explain to anyone why I do it, why I need it, why I can't just sit behind a desk and enter data, or even get a degree in raptor biology and go watch birds (seriously, it's my second choice. Birds are awesome). Much like it may be hard for someone who works in an office may find it hard to understand how working from home actually works (you still need to
work, even though you're at home. You can't just hang out for a day, that's precious work time!) I don't need to explain it because all of the people I work with already know, and my family and close friends outside of the theater I think have realized that they don't need to understand it, just accept it. I thank them for that. Every day.
This is a blog from a Stage Manager who works with a theater company in town and I think she explains it quite well indeed.
